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Why Hire These Lawyers?

Top Ten Reasons

Why You Should Hire a Lawyer Featured on BankruptcyMisconduct

So many great experienced and hard working lawyers in the U.S.A.  But you are considering hiring a lawyer, or his or her firm, which has been featured on the BankruptcyMIsconduct.com website. We applaud you because Content Is King and without your fearless pursuit of happenstance, we'd having nothing to talk about. So to encourage you, we offer this top ten list of reasons why hiring one of these Bozos, Boobs, & Bamboozlers is bound to be your ticket to paradise, or at least perhaps an eventual 15 minutes of fame :
  • FAME - What good is getting rich, if you can't get your name in the paper? To be sure, mega case bankruptcies are reported in the niche media, but a crossover hit that makes you famous across the states requires the kind of widespread exposure, say "infamy", that only a really twisted lawyer might surprise you with.
  • Early Retirement - Life is too short to work a long career. And who among us has the foresight & humility to convince ourselves and our spouses that the continuing rat race is just not worth it. Hiring a dirtbag to advise your walk through a minefield is just the tool you need to invite the type of external influence which could result in an early exit from the playing fields.
  • Prison Sex - There are some who claim that the best sex is "break up sex". But there are those who maintain that the best sex of all is prison sex. And who knows, you might even be able to marry your cell mate in the near future and share benefits. So, if you don't have the chutzpah to get yourself in prison on your own, one of the lawyers or firms on this site might be able to do it for you, as well as to you on the inside.
  • Above The Law - You're certain that you'll continue to be beyond the reach of law, notwithstanding changing administrations and National fortunes. You're "Highly Confident" that the kind of political forces which got Milken, Libby, and Clinton could never touch you.
  • Get Your Boss Fired - Advancement within your own firm is stifled when things keep going well. Hire a dirtbag and if the money keeps rolling in, your bonus is safe. But if sh@t hits the fan, it's your boss that will take the fall. And you get to move up a rung. Genuinely say "Sorry to see you go" as you move your stuff into his former corner office.
  • Piss off Your Mom - You really can't pretend to be too surprised to hear that many an in house counsel, or corporate executive, has "Mommy Issues". What better way to cause Mommy, or Daddy, some extreme angst than to hire a dirty lawyer on behalf of your firm. If they can rig things for you there could be some extra coin in for ya, and if things were to hit the fan you can make your "it's never good enough" parent suffer big time. And you can play the "I didn't do anything wrong - I just hired to big name pros is all" and it'll be your turn to play the guilt trip game.
  • Be Your Own Assange - These are the days (check the Julian calendar) of tattle tales, exposure of corruption, and defining yourself in Social Media. Whether getting laid, getting rich, or getting even, you could hire one of these guys knowing that you're just waiting for them to rob the cookie jar. Then you turn 'em in and enjoy the spoils. Actually, there more we think about this, the more likely we think this tactic will actually be employed.
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